Stephen Wilson Jr. was a scientist working for Mars, Inc. (Yeah, the Sweet firm).
In the future, his boss pulled him into an workplace and stated one thing that modified his life:
“Stephen, you’re about to get promoted.”
Usually a trigger for celebration, this was as a substitute meant as a warning by his boss.
In a previous life, Stephen had been a guitarist in a small indie rock band. He additionally spent his evenings writing songs.
His boss knew Stephen was a rattling good songwriter, and the place he actually belonged.
He advised Stephen in regards to the golden handcuffs:
“You’re in line for a promotion they usually’re grooming you for the following stage.
And also you’re form of at a crossroads.
As a result of if you happen to take [the promotion], like I took it 30 years in the past, your desires of being a songwriter, they’re gonna be gone. That is going to devour each little bit of you.
Proper now you may write songs and do that job, however 6 months from now I’m unsure you’re gonna have the ability to. So I simply need to offer you a warning.”
That tiny voice in Stephen’s head, that had been there for years and years, began to get louder.
6 weeks later, with that interior voice now at a deafening quantity, he put in his 2 weeks discover, which confused everybody (besides his boss and his spouse).
He began bartending and ready tables to make ends meet whereas honing his craft, attempting to get publishing offers in nation music…whereas getting rejected for not writing “bro country” songs:
He was advised, “you write REAL songs. We will’t do nuthin’ with that…”
Years later, after some modest success writing songs for different musicians, he lastly labored up the braveness and expertise and clout to begin recording his personal songs.
And final 12 months, he lastly put out his debut album, Son of Dad, which Rolling Stone referred to as among the best albums of 2023.
Lately, Stephen put out a jaw-dropping cover of Ben E. King’s “Stand By Me,” which I’ve listened to roughly 10,000 occasions over the previous month.
(Critically, please watch this video. It’ll offer you goosebumps!).
Golden Handcuffs vs Uncomfortable Growth
From 2008-2010, I additionally lived a twin life.
I had my day job at Sixthman, serving to promote and produce floating music festivals. However I additionally spent my nights and weekends engaged on slightly web site serving to nerds get match.
My boss April and my mentor Andy (who owned the enterprise) each knew the place my coronary heart was; they inspired me to chase the uncomfortable way forward for attempting to make Nerd Health into my profession.
16 years later, we’re nonetheless going robust!
In Oliver Burkeman’s Four Thousand Weeks, he encourages us to ask a selected query when making selections in life:
“The place in your life or your work are you at the moment pursuing consolation, when what’s referred to as for is slightly discomfort?”
Asking ourselves “what would make me happiest” will most certainly lead us in the direction of the quick time period, snug, protected choice.
As a substitute, we must be considering which path will make us GROW as an individual, or which model will trigger us to SHRINK every week. We in all probability, deep down inside, know the reply to the query, if now we have the braveness to ask it.
Burkeman’s recommendation:
“Select uncomfortable enlargement over snug diminishment every time you may.”
Yep, typically chasing “uncomfortable enlargement” doesn’t end in a songwriting deal, or a profitable enterprise. I’ve chosen the uncomfortable path and typically issues don’t work out. However that’s a part of the method, and at the least it removes the potential for unhealthy remorse!
Which brings me to in the present day’s mission.
Let’s get snug with being uncomfortable
Let’s chase uncomfortable growth in 2025.
- Once we energy practice, we drive our muscle tissue to get uncomfortable by lifting heavier and heavier weight – they reply by rising and adapting.
- If we use meals as a coping mechanism after we’re unhappy or indignant or bored, addressing our relationship with meals might be uncomfortable.
- When now we have uncomfortable conversations, we will lastly deepen {our relationships} or arise for the issues which can be necessary to us.
In 2025, let’s ask the query:
The place in your life are you snugly dwelling in consolation and security, when deep down you recognize the trail of “uncomfortable enlargement” is what you really want to develop and make it easier to get what you really need?
You may not have to give up your job instantly, or go all-in on a brand new aim or change…
However it may very well be value asking your self that uncomfortable query.
Life is difficult, and alter is more durable.
Uncomfortable.
Scary.
Messy.
However if you happen to’re keen to say NO to consolation, it is likely to be precisely what you want.
-Steve
PS: We’re doing a free 5-day workshop for individuals who need to construct new habits that really stick in 2025, it begins in a number of days!